I am back… cleanse sharing and how can we (can we?) stay high vibe in these times?

Grand rising beautiful one!


I have found the news sad and enraging this week and it feels important not to ignore it… but also overwhelming to address it because I have no solution… but mainly, I think we all need some love so my intention is to send as much of it as I can through today’s love letter.


As you know, I went offline last week: I handed in my phone and spent a total of 9 days somewhere near Hull in the countryside… cleansing… and I am now back from the cleanse (and a mad dash of 4 shows of The Rainbow Butterfly in 48 hours!) and am (mostly) rested and ready to share some reflections (and hopefully useful wisdom) on it all.


Some of the golden nuggets of my learning on the cleanse were about food (the cleanse is all about colon health!): I particularly loved reading and watching The Magic Pill,  That Sugar Film and Colon Health (so much so that I really recommend you watching/reading them too!)


I did some deep healing, and deep diving on my beliefs, and as a result stepped even more into my Soul Truth as Maya Gandaia. The cleanse angel facilitator (her name is Alva) speaks of three truths: Our Egoic Truth, our Conditioned Truth (our beliefs) and our Soul Truth: and it felt such a privilege to be able to sit with and hear her speak to these three truths… I will be speaking to these three truths some more next month in my Journey to JOY Facebook group.


I got deeper with understanding the layers of my not belonging, not good enough and not worthy beliefs (which I teach about on The Goddxx Path & Embodied Alchemy): but this time they were like small grains of sand in the form of memories (not the big ones I worked through previously), that I hadn’t yet worked on (particularly from my teenage stories around coming of age and sexuality in Bristol and from my childhood in a wee town in Kent called Faversham, where as a person of multiple heritage I knew I wasn’t quite ‘safe’ being me…). It was not necessarily easy to work through, but it was an absolute JOY to release more of these grains of sand and have more perspective on how things really were versus what my scared (my Conditioned Truth self) self perceived about myself and the world.


And I really fell into the power of PRESENCE right NOW: the biggest landing for me of all was about the power of living right NOW: no more waiting (for what I was waiting on I don’t know!), I choose to let life unfold with my full presence, letting go of the judgement and the competition and the expectation of how it ‘should be’ and just being in the beauty and the magic of this very moment right NOW!


And that in turn helped me understand that our genius (our fullest expression of our heart) is what can transform the planet. That being connected to Our Soul Truth is a powerful service to the world… By doing what we love, we are more able to send love, and enable others to heal and transform… and by leading by example we also awaken others to their Soul Truth and they in turn send love and heal and transform… so its like an outward ripple of love…


And I also began to deepen my understanding of the power of prayer: the power of sending love and healing and holding. I found that there was something very different in the energy of love that I gave out to that of anger at what is going on… So I chose to send out so much love during the cleanse to all those in danger, experiencing bereavement and to those who lost their lives. And I also acknowledge the privileges that I have to be able to go on a cleanse, and to be able to send love from a home in the North of England…


And my heart also sends love to you beautiful one! And as always to invite you to write back and let me know how you are doing and what you are journeying with all of this right now?


HERE are some images of me in my Soul Truth touring The Rainbow Butterfly to children and their grown ups in Hastings & Banbury straight after the cleanse this weekend (honestly I think I must have had some of Alva’s magical energy to be able to perform x4 30 minute solos that combine breaking and samba and aerial silks and handstands!).


I am also extremely grateful to Ama Rouge who brought me so much love and grounding this weekend when she joined me as Mother Earth on the tour: thank you! and I want to take a moment to thank and honour Rafal the miracle man with a van without whom I don’t think I could have made it…


And biggest loves and good health and well wishes to you today Ella,


Ella “Maya Gandaia” Mesma xxx