We will both agree to always give as much notice as possible about moving a session. If a session is cancelled by me with less than 24 hours notice, I will not only reschedule the session but also owe you an additional session at the end of our contract period. If you cancel in less than 24 hours notice you will forfeit that session unless under special circumstances.
How to support your fellow goddxxes:
Speak of your experience but do not assume that others are the same/put your beliefs on to other people
Assume everyone is doing their best
Share with others in mind too (If it might affect them please add a content warning if possible)
Balance the space: Notice if you over or under contribute. What you have to say could help another Goddxx to learn! But also… are you a space grabber (A hijacker) and could your being a better listener create more space for someone else to share?
Fill up your cup first (Put on your lifejacket first). This is a space to practise the work. What do you need?
A large part of this work is also about unlearning our conditioning and our beliefs.
We will get things wrong along the way… it is an inevitable part of unlearning.
When you notice a judgement of yourself or others can you question whether it is true or a belief?
We all have a past, and so we all have beliefs (This will become clearer and clearer over the course!) and it is likely we will make mistakes at times and get triggered at times.
Sometimes unlearning is about stepping into areas we don’t know and making mistakes and then doing the learning (or unlearning).
Beliefs and identities can also be connected to traumas and to oppression and so I invite that we all try to act with compassion for ourselves and each other, do our best to take on board one another’s learnings and one another’s requests and also allow for mistakes and for growth.
If you make a mistake. Apologise. Then move on. Try not to go over and over it in your head. Learn. Evolve. Grow Up (That is what evolving is).
Let’s acknowledge the power and the importance of disruption and discomfort in our evolution:
My teacher Sarah Garrett calls this the ‘Both &’
My teacher William Whitecloud calls it ‘the razor’s edge’
Discomfort can be important for our learning and growth and in order for us to be able to dismantle the systems that take us out of choice and consent, and to practice and learn our boundaries and allow for our growth.
I invite us all to reflect on where privilege intersects with this work. If you are finding it hard to receive someone else’s feedback, might it be that you not have needed to consider (said issue) because you haven’t had to deal with a particular experience?
Assume everyone is doing their best:
We are all learning here. can we assume that everyone has the best intention in this brave space?
If someone says something which is upsetting for you, or uses incorrect language, can you assume they didn’t know and invite them to correct their language or explain it to them?
It is also tiring to correct all the time, so can we collectively correct with a large portion of love and the goal to unlearn together?
Or if this persists, tell me and I can do my best to mediate.
We can put CW (Content Warning) This way you give someone the opportunity to tune out if they like before you speak of something that may be triggering
Choosing what content is right for you:
Do you know your own domain?
What are you comfortable with?
How far do you go?
What are you own boundaries (where are you becoming uncomfortable?) What are your limits? (what are you not willing to accept?)
Until we understand what our own domain is we cannot distinguish between these (so it is important to establish these for yourself: we will do some work on this in our third weekend)
Content Warnings Meaning: Evidence shows that content warnings can help some people feel better. A content warning is a statement at the start of a speaking or a piece of writing, video etc which lets everyone know that it contains potentially distressing material.
Warning people of challenging material can help their engagement by giving them the ability to take charge of their own health and learning. We can be empowered if we have choice. Every day stressors like trauma, oppression can impact our ability to have choice, and so trigger warnings can help survivors have choice and avoid reliving the event that may have caused them trauma. By offering choice, we can reduce distress, and allow them to prepare themselves mentally (particularly for people with post traumatic stress disorder). Make them clear enough that people know whether they want to go on with the read or listening or not, but not so descriptive that they might trigger a reaction.
Here are some examples:
Content warning this may be distressing for people dealing with grief.
Content warning, what I am about to say is about racist violence. I will do my best to engage bravely, empathetically and thoughtfully.
Content warning this may be distressing for people dealing with abuse.
A gender neutral or gender inclusive pronoun is one which does not associate a gender with that individual.
Some societies (like ours) tend to recognise just two genders (male and female).
The idea that there are only two genders is called a gender binary, because binary means having two parts (male and female). Therefore, non-binary is one term people use to describe genders that don’t fall into one of these two categories, male or female.
How to Be Respectful and Supportive of Non-Binary People:
It isn’t as hard as you might think to be supportive and respectful of non-binary people, even if you have just started to learn about them.
You don’t have to understand what it means for someone to be non-binary to respect them. But identities that some people don’t understand still deserve respect. Use the name a person asks you to use. If you get it wrong, correct yourself and move on. This is one of the most critical aspects of being respectful of a non-binary person, as the name you may have been using may not reflect their gender identity.
Try not to make any assumptions about people’s gender. Become used to asking if people use pronouns and if so what their pronouns are.
Different non-binary people may use different pronouns. Many non-binary people use “they” while others use “he” or “she,” and still others use other pronouns.
Taking into account gender, age, race, ethnicity, accessibility, education, country of origin, socioeconomic status and all the other aspects of an individual’s background can be confusing for some people.
The terms “woman” and “man,” “male” and “female” are not necessarily the defaults for self-identification.
Using the word “female” or “female-bodied” is seen as dehumanizing or still too gendered to some people
Other explored terms include “people who menstruate” but this is also often inaccurate, because not everyone has periods (menarche, pregnancy, menopause, birth control).
Another is “uterus-havers” or “people with uteruses,” but this offends people who believe it reduces their life experience to one body part or bodily function.
As a result… here are some non great gendered suggestions: