Three things the hardness of NYC has taught me about masculine and feminine energy…

Today I am leaving NYC (boohoo!)… and so I have been reflecting on this (in the words of one of our fantastic Intuitive Me speakers Jane Slack-Smith) quest!

This quest was the culmination of intuitions that my fellow intuitive community and I have received over the past few years…

It felt ______ (fill in the blank with all sorts of negative words) to be going ‘without a plan’ to NYC… but I knew (as an intuition graduate) that it was true for me…

And here is how it all tied together…

I flew via Mexico, stopping off in the Yucatan Peninsula on the invitation of Ira Calixto a wonderful friend (whom I also interviewed for PowerUp! Podcast). There, Ira and I began creating a retreat for 2024 (more info soon!), but I found it hard to fully focus and finalise because I was very much in holiday vibes! Next, I went on my own healing journey (quest!), which included attending my first ayahuasca ceremony in seven years, taking a womb healing certification, experiencing Temezcal ceremonies, and having a powerful Sobada Maya treatment… 

This part of my trip felt like the feminine… things flowed (apart from when it came to working!) and in nature, I found rest, inspiration and rejuvenation. The not being on my work game was ok because I knew that the two weeks I spent there were for rest, but I found it challenging to find focus for the bits of work I did have, (especially when the wifi wasn’t working!) Generally though, in Mexico, everything was easy, full of synchronicity, magic, heart opening and high vibration and I got many intuitions including that this is where I would LOVE to live long term!

And then I got to NYC… a very different kind of jungle to my Mexican experience… I arrived late at night and then experienced a two-hour immigration queue, subway route delays, and them cancelling my stop completely (so I had to come back on myself again navigating no lifts with two suitcases!), and I saw probably more than 11 people experiencing homelessness with NO SHOES ON!!! in one of the biggest cities in the world… It was heartbreaking: a big wake-up call from Mexico, and an abrupt arrival into the masculine, capitalist energy of the BIG Apple. I didn’t want to leave my wee home in Harlem for a few days after… and I wanted to go back to Mexico a lot!

But slowly, like a tortoise poking its head out, little by little, I found my way, and I remembered the New York way… 

I actually had an amazing time… I miss it already!

And here are three things that landed for me whilst I was here…

     1. “If I can make it here I can make it anywhere that’s what they say” Alicia Keys

I touched on this in my previous email (also on my EMC website as a blog post) but I think there is something in the New York air in the fact that no one really cares that also means we get over ourselves and our egos and don’t give F*@k what anyone else thinks… 

For example, today on one subway carriage, I witnessed someone rapping aloud (with no censoring: they were really good but it really was like that journey was a practice session in a studio!), another person having a proper nap (lying down, shoes off, sprawled out), and another couple having a full-blown row… 

Perhaps not all of these were aligned with their goddxx-like potential, but I wonder if we all need a dose of this carefreeness to step up to our truth without censoring and holding back? 

I found myself reflecting that the hardness of NYC (as well as being flipping difficult to make it, and challenging to navigate) also creates drive, and pure determination and allows us to just do it without caring what other people think. 

     2. “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Brene Brown

People here are constantly demanding, taking, and expecting… and I actually started LOVING saying NO to that! 

I realised this is probably the BEST place in the world to practice boundaries because you really HAVE to have them… and also be very clear about asking for what you want! 

And that in itself has been such a huge part of my journey HOME to me… 

Being raised as a woman in our society, I found that being nice/good often took precedence over what was true for me… but here, I found (or rather remembered as this is actually my 8/9th work/training trip to NYC in my lifetime) that being nice just does not work… and whilst I still am not able to not see a PERSON experiencing homelessness or struggling with their mental health in the street without it hurting my heart, I have had no problem saying no in multiple situations where it was not true… and this feels HUGE! 

And ranges from being asked to dance, to going on dates, to buying things, to participating in activities that don’t spark JOY… 

It has felt so great to realise that being in my intuitive flow has also benefitted from this clarity on my boundaries and this focus on all aspects of my truth.

     3. “The (Goddxx) doesn’t emerge from outside us, (they) emerge from deep within.” Marianne Williamson

The Principle of Gender (from the Kybalion, which I also teach on my Goddxx Path), says that each of us is comprised of a varying percentage of 40 % to 60 % of masculine and feminine energy, regardless of sex. 

The masculine and feminine principles are always at work: In nature, in business… everywhere: creation is impossible without this principle. 

If one outweighs the other, then our lives will be out of balance and we will be governed in reaction to the world, rather than a unity of truth, flow and action. 

When I used to come to NYC, I was mostly in my masculine. I would often over-train until I was exhausted (mostly breaking), I would stay out till later than was true in my body but push through, often falling asleep on the ride home but still pushing myself to get up early even if I was exhausted, then overeat to compensate. 

I would not see nature most of my trip, I would not listen to my intuition of when to rest (because NYC is the city that never sleeps!) 

Having come from Mexico this time, I was much better at resting. I took time to reflect, to meditate, to sleep, to chill out, to say NO… and as a result, I was much more able to integrate both aspects of myself, and find the balance.

I have had very powerful intuitions here (I do believe that NYC is on a very powerful energy centre and land: more on that another time), and I found a powerful workflow. 

AND… I have realised that the ceiling was my own: I had a perception of what I was capable of, how my experience could be, and what was possible… and I have broken through all of those perceptions on this trip and am letting go of more and more ideas of what old me would believe is possible: so I really am stepping up to my goddxx-like potential!

And as a result, I have had a LOT of business (and other forms of) success since I got here… 

I had some awesome downloads around my coaching business too, and it feels very organised (masculine energy) and flowing (feminine energy): Goddxx-like magic! Check it out here (feedback is welcome too!)

So my conclusion is, my quest to NYC supports my expansion.

Here, I have embodied many aspects of my Goddxx-self in different ways to Mexico. 

Here I feel grounded, and clear on my values and boundaries, and whilst it is great to be appreciated, I have much less inhibition about showing up: I have “got over myself”, which feels like a powerful recipe for growth into new areas and aspects of my Land Of Plenty: like singing!!!

So how about you ? 

What are you leaning into without caring what anyone else thinks? 

How are your boundaries?

And do you feel you have a good balance of masculine and feminine energy?