Do you ever notice these thoughts creeping in?
1: I am not good enough
2: I am the reason all bad things happen/responsible for fixing all of it forever and ever
3: I don’t belong/am unloveable
I have been practising Alchemy since 2016, but not fixing was one of the last themes to really land for me, because my identity has been so well honed in these stories.
In fact, my ego thought I was going to die when I stopped: it believed my very survival depended on it!
Below I share what I learnt as I stopped fixing…
Why do we fix?
There is a massive societal addiction to fixing… to opinions… to labelling everything as good, bad, right & wrong… & therefore, our very existence is constantly at stake: because everything becomes painfully about us and our validity…
But the thing is, fixing ourselves, others and the world really is not the answer: it does not empower others, or ourselves, and it is certainly not coming from the energy of creating.
Because the ego cannot create, or even imagine anything new…
I have had a busy month this month (check out what I got up to below!)
And in each situation, I came upon moments where I could have gone into old patterns of fixing, and defining. But in each I found that there was a very powerful alchemy in letting go of this old conditioning.
I realised that, whilst I might think my fixing is for others, ultimately it was to ease my own tension and beliefs… and that when I assume everyone is whole and complete exactly as they are… magic happens!
One example, was working on my new show, A Jellyfish Lovesong, I realised how much more magic was possible when I let go of the reins of control and stated what I would love, but gave each artist the opportunity to create their own magic and find their own true connection with the material and the story.
Whereas, when I controlled how it should be, all of our identities entered into the space (in varying ways), and the results were less creative, less embodied and felt less authentic.
By fixing, we exacerbate everything… life becomes a dumping game: placing blame, people pleasing, experiencing the pain of rejection, focusing on problems, controlling how others and situations need to be.
But here is what I learnt:
(As I let go of trying to fix myself, others and the world)
1: Being in no sense (letting go of definitions) meant I could ask questions and even hold space for my ‘opinions’ without needing anyone else to think in the same way.
2: Full acceptance of the current reality makes it much easier to BE (without coming for the controlling energy of fixing)
3: Holding myself whole is mirrored: as I hold myself whole, those who were busy defining tended to fall away and I found I had beautifully nourishing connections where we both came from whole and both flourished & grew in the possibility of being ourselves to the full.
4: Energy matters & our vibration changes (raises) when we change our orientation from fixing to creating
5: Change doesn’t happen through force but through love…
Because, when we take our focus off of fixing, and instead turn our focus to what we would love… regardless of any perceived obstacles… we can take inspired action in that direction: we can CHOOSE what we would love… And that is when magic can truly happen…
There is a vulnerability: a surrendering to not fixing… because we really cannot control the outcome… but what I learnt this month is that when I stop resisting what is happening, I can bring my definitions and my beliefs into my awareness, and they don’t have the same power over me as when I wasn’t able to accept them… And things do tend to fall away if they aren’t true, to flow in the direction of what I would love, and to flow around the perceived obstacles: Alchemical Magic!
While my definitions were unconscious, or I was resisting them, they had the power. Once I understood how I wanted to fix, or what part of myself or others I didn’t want to accept, then I could take true inspired action rather than my controlling behaviours creating havoc as I go away from what I don’t want.
Whereas, when we move through the world in the direction of what we would love… we create magic and ripples of love…
I found that conflict deconstruction was an awesome for seeing what was going on in my subconscious this month… I have a new improved one that you can try on for size HERE if you fancy it!
This month’s movements:
- Choreographing and movement directing for an amazing new musical Sanctuary
- Choreographing for a beautiful theatre production out in 2025 called A World without Death
- Filming my newest Ella Mesma Company show: A Jellyfish Lovesong, ready for an online sharing coming soon…
- Journeying with amazing new cohort of 38 wonder humans on Embodied Alchemy (alongside my beautiful Goddxx Path & Glow clients).
- (Plus navigating life, marriage, new and old relationships… not to mention the things going on in the world…)
What is next and how can you get involved:
- The Creativity Circle starts for FREE on the 12th October
- You can attend a Goddxx Path taster day for FREE in March
- The next round of The Goddxx Path opens in April 2025 (sign up to find out more HERE)
I would (as always) love to hear from you: what landed? What are you journeying? And what is bringing you JOY?
Sending love and blessings,
Maya Joy