When I arrived she said, ‘I booked us a treat to celebrate!’ and took me for my first ever mani-pedi: which was amazing but a little different an arrival than I had imagined: I thought we would be rolling out our mats and spending most of our 5 days meditating. Then, when we got back to hers, she disappeared into the kitchen, and came back a while later saying, “Oh whoops I forgot about our cleanse and I just ate a load of halloumi, would you like some?”
My first reaction was disappointment. How could she? We were meant to be cleansing! She was supposed to be my teacher in the art of perfection; an embodiment of everything I was trying to become… I felt angry, confused and let down (at first)…
In an earlier episode this year I mentioned a pendulum swing. I’m not quite out the other side of it… I am still hanging with the tension, so more on that later in the year, but that swing I now realise was also about perfection… Because I forgot a valuable lesson of this work: that creating is messy… not perfect!
Finally, this week, I sat a Portuguese exam, and after what felt like only 5 minutes into the second exam (of 4!), the invigilator announced we had 10 minutes left! It did turn out she made a mistake, but that announcement was enough for the psychological tension to set in, and for me to plummet from calmly end result focused to deciding I had failed.
The psychological tension was so intense it felt like being in shark infested waters (a recurring nightmare in my childhood having accidentally seen Jaws with a babysitter!) I couldn’t think, hear, or find my answers. Honestly, I think my system thought I was being chased as I pushed through the exam in a daze… and then the next day all that cortisol rushing through my system resulted in a lurgy like I have not had in years…
The Prison of Perfection
My pendulum swing a few months back actually had nothing to do with the end result, but to do with a self imposed expectation that I should be everything (perfect) for everyone all of the time… when the reality is the circumstances were some of the most challenging I have experienced in my career, and I still achieved my end result!
What I later learnt about my yoga teacher was that she was navigating an extremely difficult situation. Yes, my putting her on a pedestal crumbled in that moment… but what emerged as she opened up about what had been going on for her was something infinitely more beautiful: I met a real person, with real cravings, doing the best she could whilst navigating some very human experiences… just like the rest of us…
And my definition of myself in that moment in the exam: as the binary of bad/failed/wrong was a far bigger obstacle than my ability to speak Portuguese.
We live in a world obsessed with being perfect: straight A’s, flawless feeds, pristine morning routines… and often a cancel culture when someone reveals their humanness.
But perfection can be the enemy of connection, intuition, and joy. Perfection keeps us performing instead of being, suffering instead of transmuting our 💩 to gold, and judging instead of loving…
The Beautiful Truth of Being Human
Underneath our carefully curated masks is something far more beautiful… our whole selves including the parts of us that make mistakes, that feel uncertain, that laugh too loudly, that cry when we need to, or even that eats halloumi during a juice cleanse!
Perhaps our humanness isn’t a flaw to be corrected {!firstname_fix}, but the very thing that makes us loveable, and real?
Be You to the Full
So what if we celebrate a little more authenticity over perfection?
What if, instead of judging people for their humanness, we use these moments as invitations for compassion and understanding?
What if we choose to see our imperfections not as reasons to lose faith, but as permission to drop our own masks and be a little more honest about how we are feeling?
This doesn’t mean we abandon growth, integrity or accountability… but perhaps we can move with more compassion for ourselves and others?
Because here’s the truth: I am not perfect, and neither are you… And that’s exactly what makes us both beautiful!
An Invitation
So today I invite you to be you to the full: Not the polished version you think the world wants to see, but the real, raw, magnificent human you truly are!
And each time you judge yourself for making a mistake, or feel disappointed by someone for being perfectly imperfect, can you pause and send them (or yourself) some compassion?
And if you notice your beliefs are getting in the way of you creating and living the life you would love… well let’s talk alchemy!
These simple shifts can transform our relationship with ourselves and others…
Plus the world feels much brighter when we’re not all trying to be perfect (but doing the best we can)! ❤️👑
